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“The Light Isn’t Shining” by Lim Sun-woo

2023-12-12

ⓒ Getty Images Bank
I have to admit that Koo and I had jellyfish to thank for our decent living. We were no longer late with our bills, and we didn’t have to ask to borrow money from our friends anymore. I was churning out an ex-human jellyfish every three days. That meant there were just as many people who were tired of living but afraid to die as there were jellyfish. Koo and I dulled to the clients’ transformation. 

My client this time was Kim Ji-seon. The 51-year-old woman divorced three years ago and wrote in the application that she simply wanted to become a jellyfish. 


사장이 떠난 집에서 지선 씨와 나는 커튼을 치고 빛을 기다렸다.
나는 지선씨가 빛나지 않으리라는 사실을 예상하고 있었다.
After he left, I closed the curtain and waited for the light to shine from Ji-seon. But I knew that she wouldn’t shine. 

죽집 사장이 들어서고, 집 안의 공기가 달라지는 순간,
나는 내가 잘못 생각했다는 사실을 깨달았다.
사장을 본 지선씨는 미련을 버리는 대신 그를 계속해서 사랑하기를 선택한 것이다.
나는 지선씨가 영원히 해파리가 아닌 지선씨로 남게 될 것이라고 짐작했다.
The moment the porridge guy came into the room, I realized that I had it all wrong. When Ji-seon laid her eyes on the man, she chose to keep loving him. I assumed that Ji-seon would remain forever as herself, not as a jellyfish. 


# Interview with literary critic Jeon So-yeong
The main character gave up singing and instead made a living by watching other people die. But she had a change of heart when she saw Ji-seon who chose to die as a human being, unable to let go of human feelings. She decided to hold onto singing just like Ji-seon held onto her human emotions. The last sentence in the story was memorable. It went “I will think about the once-in-a-lifetime light.” This sentence seems to ask us readers what is the light that makes us human in this day and age when humanity is disappearing.


나는 눈을 감고 지선씨가 봤을 빛에 대해 생각했다.
그 빛은 지선씨가 오래전 바닷가에서 본 것처럼 환하고 아름다웠을까.
I closed my eyes and thought about the light Ji-seon must have seen. Was that light as bright and beautiful as the one she had seen at the beach so long ago?

나는 휴대폰을 집어 들어 구에게 전화를 걸었다.
I picked up my mobile phone and called Koo. 

“구.. 나 다시 노래하려고. 오늘 서울로 돌아갈 거야.” 
“Koo, I’m going to sing again. I’m moving to Seoul today.” 

나는 빈 수조를 바라보며 앞으로의 일을 생각했다.
나는 오늘 밤 구를 떠날 것이고 심야버스에 오를 것이다.
다시 노래를 부르고 다시 망하거나 망하지 않을 것이다.
그러나 해변에서 멀어지는 동안에는 지선씨가 보았을 빛,
단 한 번의 빛만을 생각할 것이다.
I thought about what to do from now on as I looked at the empty water tank. I will leave Koo tonight and get on a late-night bus. I will sing again and will either flop or not. But as I go farther away from the beach, I will think about the once-in-a-lifetime light, the light Ji-seon would have seen. 


Lim Sun-woo (Born in Seoul, 1995~ )
Debuted with short story “A Little Bearable”
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