ⓒ Getty Images Bank

Asking upon death…

That’s how grandma began her will. 

The funeral should be held on the fourth Friday of October at home.

The land and house should be divided among the four children.

The store should be organized and given to Se-hee. 

In her last moment, she moved her lips as if she had something more to say, but let out a long breath before leaving this world.

죽음에 이르러 부탁하여-

할머니는 유서의 첫머리를 이렇게 썼다.

장례식을 10월 넷째 주 금요일에 집에서 치를 것.

집과 토지를 네 명의 자녀들에게 나눠줄 것.

가게를 정리하여 세희에게 넘길 것.

마지막 순간, 할머니는 뭔가 더 할 말이 있는 것처럼

입술을 들썩였지만 이내 긴 숨을 내쉬고 세상을 떠났다.

Jung Han-ah’s “Halloween,” which was published in “Korean Literature” in 2016, begins with the death of Se-hee’s grandmother. Se-hee began living with her grandmother after her parents divorced.

“You’re standing at the edge of a cliff. It was a foolish decision. You’ve wasted your money and you’re on edge. You have to let go of yourself. The eight cups have been filled with your attachment and hope. You have to spill it all out. Unless you do so, there will be no change.” 

Danielle pretended to empty out the cups with his hands. I saw her hands grabbing the empty air. They were thin and strong hands. The hands of my grandmother, the hands that I wanted to have. She moved her lips as if she had something more to say, but let out a long breath before leaving this world.

“당신은 지금 벼랑 끝에 서 있어요. 어리석은 판단을 했군요.

 돈을 탕진했고, 신경이 날카로워져 있어요.

 자기 자신을 버려야 해요.

 여덟 개의 컵은 당신이 애착과 희망을 가지고 채운 것들이죠.

 그것들은 땅에 쏟아버려야 해요.

 그 전엔 아무 변화가 일어나지 않을 거예요“ 

다니엘은 컵을 거꾸로 드는 흉내를 냈다.

나는 허공을 움켜 쥔 그녀의 손을 보았다. 마르고, 강인한 손이었다.

할머니와 닮은, 언제나 내가 갖고 싶었던 손.

입술을 들썩였지만 이내 긴 숨을 내쉬고 세상을 떠났다.

Interview by culture critic Jeon So-young

Danielle reads Se-hee’s fortune before leaving, and tells her that if her past pain created her current self, she should escape from it and become a new person. Se-hee had created a false sense of attachment and hope in order to fill the void from loss. Danielle was telling her that if she emptied it all out, like emptying out cups, she will be able to form real relationships. It was what her tarot cards read, but also what Danielle would have liked to tell Se-hee. 

---

“Halloween” by Jung Han-na (born in Seoul, 1982)

Debut: 2007, “Moon’s Ocean” becomes prize novel at 12th Munhak Dongne Awards

Prizes: 2019, 24th Han Moo-suk Literary Award etc.