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“I heard you were sick, so I brought some abalone porridge.” 

But Hoya sat quietly on the sofa without reacting to Mr. Oh’s voice. At that moment, Mr. Oh and I saw the same thing. A huge lump of sadness that had lost its way in the deep was burning up his own body not with fire, but with tears. Yes, he was. 

I didn’t think of Mr. Oh as my lover while I was alive, but I did consider him a trusty friend and coworker. Mr. Oh was exacting and inflexible, but he knew enough about how to survive in this crummy world. 

For me, for someone he had feelings once upon a time, Mr. Oh exerted a little bit more of an effort. 

그 날은 내가 죽은 지 일 년 째 되는 날에서 사흘이 지난 날이었고,

호야가 내 유언에 따라 내가 일했던 회사에 들어간 지 

여섯 달이 조금 못 된 날이었다.

That day was three days past the first anniversary of my death, and it was just a few days short of six months since he joined the company I used to work for as in my last dying wish. 

나는 입사 오 년 때에 스스로에 대한 포상으로 동유럽 여행을 떠났고

거기서 운명적으로 호야를 만났다.

둘 중 누구도 우리의 사랑에 개스트릭 어쩌고 하는 학명을 가진

위험한 놈이 함께 했음을 눈치채지 못했다.

I had traveled to Eastern Europe as a gift to myself to mark my fifth year in that company and that was where fate brought me and Hoya together. Neither of us was aware that a dangerous fellow with the scientific name of gastric so and so had tagged along. 

호야가 귀엽다고 한 내 딸국질은 위선암의 초기 징후였다.

근심 하나 없는 사랑 1년,

근심만 가득한 사랑 1년, 그렇게 2년을 보냈다.

내가 죽은 후 호야는 빠른 속도로 슬픔의 살을 불리며 그 살에 자신을 파묻어 버렸다.

My hiccups, which Hoya thought was cute, were the early signs of gastric adenocarcinoma. We spent two years together, one year of careless loving and another year fraught with worries. Ever since my death, Hoya quickly started gaining the weight of sadness and buried himself into that flesh. 

# Interview with literary critic Jeon So-yeong

This story ends with two men who experienced the same pain crying the same tears. But this last scene gives hope to readers that Hoya may fully recover from the pain, because another human being fills up the void left by his love. This is what the narrator wanted in Hoya’s life beautifully realized in the ending scene. 

부지불식간 호야의 몸이 번쩍 들렸다.

하지만 곱빼기를 먹으면서 밥 한 그릇을 더 추가해 온 자의 무게를 감당하지 못했다.

찰나의 순간 오대리가 우당탕 넘어지며 거대한 호야의 몸에 깔리고 말았다.

Hoya’s body lifted off the floor. But Mr. Oh couldn’t handle the weight of someone who always had double portions and one more bowl of rice. In an instant, Mr. Oh fell to the floor, squashed under Hoya’s enormous body. 

보라색 목도리가 두 사람을 덮고 있었다.

엎어치기를 시도한 사람과 엎어치기를 당한 사람이

바투 누워 있는 모습은 애잔했다.

The purple muffler fell on top of them. The sight of a man who attempted a flip-over lying right next to the man who almost got flipped over was pathetic. 

내가 조용히 다가가자 두 남자가 동시에 나를 바라보았다.

여간해서 울지 않는 오 대리의 눈에 눈물이 그렁그렁 맺혀 있었다.

호야가 낙동강 하류처럼 넓게 퍼지는 눈물을 흘려대며 통곡을 했다.

When I approached them quietly, the two men looked at me at the same time. Mr. Oh, who hardly ever cried, had tears in his eyes. Hoya was bawling with the tears flowing in wide streams as the Nakdonggang River. 

우는 남자의 어깨를 토닥여 준건 내가 아니라 오대리였다.

It was Mr. Oh, not I, who patted the crying man’s shoulder. 

---

Shim Ah-jin (Born in Masan, Gyeongsangbuk-do Prov., 1972~ )

Debuted with “For Teatime” in 1999